a letter to myself 💌

 dear me,

    things are going to be hard. so hard that you will want to give up everything. you will cry and scream and life will just keep punching you in the gut. no one will ever understand how you feel. no one is going ever truly care about how you feel. you will want to rip out your hair and scream at the world. 

but one day, everything will make sense. the reason for it all will start to play connect-the-dots in your head. once that happens, the peace that you feel will be like a breath of fresh air.

however, do not sit around and wait for things to make sense. and do not try to make sense of it yourself. just wake up each day and do what you have to do. wake up early and do not go back to sleep. there's plenty of time to sleep when you die. no one ever lies on their deathbed and reminisces about the amount of sleep they had. just make sure you get your eight hours a day.

make sure you eat healthy, drink your water and use your sunscreen. tell your friends and family you love them. buy silly gifts and write little notes for people to find. eat a doughnut for breakfast or skip like a kid when you're out. it literally does not matter to anyone at all. 

do the things that you're scared of. i'm not talking about skydiving or running around with lions but do the small things that make you feel alive. whether it's going for a zumba class on your own or applying for a job without any experience, just do it. it seems so damn terrifying and you start having a bazillion thoughts about what could go wrong, so what? fear is just a state of mind. meaning it's all in your head. it's not outside your like a thug about to rob you. 

we're all human and we're all flawed. there is not one person on this earth who has done everything right. everyone occasionally stumbles on their words or has a bad hair day. this is everyone's first time on earth and we're all just figuring things out.

there's not much time left on earth. the average human lifespan is 70-75 years, give or take. from the ages of 6-17, you're gaining basic knowledge to survive the world. 

from ages 18-75, which is only 57 years left, what are you going to do with it? are you going to sit around and let time pass you by? are you going to let good times fly by just because you're too lazy to get up from your bed?

i know you've heard this before but stop using your phone so much. you keep missing out on your life and start living vicariously through the lives of others on a screen. you spend hours upon hours browsing through other people's art, trying to "gain inspiration" but where is your art?

the point here is, there's so much time spent looking at the lives of others that we forget we have our own. we forget we are here on this planet too, living and not just being an audience for the lives of others.

you life may seem dull as anything right now but if you went into the future and looked back at your current self, would you be pleased or would you have a million ideas running through your head on how to make your current situation better?

so much time has been spent on social media that our thoughts are literally "downloaded" into us and it's hard to function as a person of our own. we've forgotten who we are.

as hard as things are, you have so much power to change your life. it's whether you're brave enough to do it or you rather stay in your comfort zone.

speaking of being brave, no amount of subliminals and motivational podcasts will help you be brave. the first step is always, always the hardest but it's the one that counts the most.

all in all, you are you and you deserve the best everyday. no one will come along and give it to you. wake up everyday and give it to yourself.

love, 

myself.